40 This or That Questions for Couples
40 questions · Curated by Jakub Sobotka · I Choose You, used by 3,700+ couples
"This or that" is the fastest game in relationships. One question, two options, instant answer. The explanation is optional — but it's always more interesting than the choice itself. These 40 questions reveal preferences, values, and quirks in about 10 minutes. Ready?
Lifestyle and daily life
If your partner was a kitchen appliance, which one would break the most often?
Would you rather always have to sleep in separate beds or always have to share the same pillow?
What's the most chaos your partner could cause with just a karaoke machine?
Would you rather your partner become obsessed with a hobby you hate or lose interest in everything you both love?
If you both became famous, who would be caught in a scandal first?
Would you rather your partner always smell like your least favorite food or always taste like it when you kiss?
What's the most absurd emergency that would make you both panic?
Would you rather have to explain your relationship status using only movie titles or song lyrics?
If your partner was a social media platform, which one would get banned first?
Would you rather both of you always be 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late to everything?
Food and experiences
Who's more likely to have a favorite parking spot at the grocery store and get upset when it's taken?
Who's more likely to accidentally adopt another animal while 'just looking'?
Who's more likely to give the silent treatment but crack after 10 minutes?
Who's more likely to have a crisis about getting older on a random Tuesday?
Who's more likely to dance alone in the kitchen at 2 AM?
Who's more likely to create an entire backstory for a stranger they saw at the coffee shop?
Who's more likely to get genuinely hurt when they lose at board games?
Who's more likely to have a favorite burner on the stove?
Who's more likely to accidentally call their boss 'babe'?
Who's more likely to spiral into conspiracy theories at midnight?
The relationship ones
What's the most ridiculous reason you'd both get kicked out of a library?
Would you rather your partner have the ability to pause awkward moments or fast-forward through boring ones?
If you both became professional wrestlers, what would your tag team name be?
Would you rather your relationship soundtrack be elevator music or death metal?
What's the most chaotic way your partner would redecorate your shared space?
Would you rather have to introduce your partner using only their most embarrassing quality or their weirdest talent?
If you both got superpowers but they only worked when you were arguing, how often would you fight?
Would you rather your partner always take everything literally or never take anything seriously?
What's the most unhinged thing you'd both do if money wasn't real?
Would you rather have to live by reality TV rules or sitcom logic for a month?
Hypotheticals you've never considered
Who's more likely to create elaborate backstories for your pets' behaviors?
Who's more likely to have a favorite pen and accuse others of stealing it?
Who's more likely to get scared of the monster under the bed as an adult?
Who's more likely to have a complete personality change when they're hungry?
Who's more likely to give motivational speeches to themselves before social events?
Who's more likely to get emotionally attached to a random mug?
Who's more likely to have beef with a fictional character?
Who's more likely to accidentally overshare with the Uber driver?
Who's more likely to get genuinely sad when their favorite restaurant closes?
Who's more likely to have a crisis about what their coffee order says about them?
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are good "this or that" questions for couples?
The best "this or that" questions have two options that are both genuinely appealing — or both genuinely unappealing. The discomfort of a real choice is what makes it interesting. Lifestyle questions (city vs country, spontaneous vs planned) reveal values. Relationship questions (morning person vs night owl as a partner) reveal what your partner actually needs.
How do you play "this or that" with your partner?
One person reads the question, both answer simultaneously — no thinking, first instinct only. Then if your answers differ, you explain. The simultaneous reveal keeps it honest. Playing fast prevents overthinking and gets to the real preference, not the considered-for-the-other-person preference.
Is "this or that" a good couple activity?
Yes — it's one of the most accessible couple games because it requires no setup, takes any amount of time, and never feels like homework. It's good for long drives, waiting rooms, and slow evenings. The questions also naturally generate longer conversations when both people have opinions about why they chose what they chose.
What does your partner's "this or that" choices reveal?
More than you'd expect. Preference patterns in "this or that" questions correlate with values (security vs adventure), personality (introvert vs extrovert tendencies), and relational needs (closeness vs independence). It's a light container for information that's actually meaningful.